Dilouchka

The fears that haunt my nightly dreams And stalk my waking thoughts They push, and pull, and get between And cause these vicious knots I fight so hard to stay afloat Out in this sea of fear The waves they pound against the boat The shoreline disappears These memories I still abhor And every dream that broke I often think I'll take no more That on this breath I'll choke I do my best to keep at bay The worst of my disease My illness fights to find its way A path to its release I tire often of the thoughts That keep me up at night And wish so bad for them to stop For me to feel alright The battle has been waging for What feels like all my l

If I could tell you everything I swear to god I would I'd share my thoughts on anything Until you understood But that is not reality Its just not who I am If that's what brings finality I'm fine, I understand If I could change my circumstance To make your life a breeze I'd do it, I would take a chance To help you trust in me The dice have fallen where they may The cards have shed no breaks I can't just will this life to change I cannot stop the rain. I've said too much, but you'll agree I saved the best for last I may not be your pedigree I must not have your class But in my world I'm standing tall For everything I lack There's one more

I reached to grab your waiting hand You pull away again I stretched just like a rubber band And failed under the strain It`s like a game of chess we play We move our pieces round As rook takes knight, we play the game But then the moves run out I don't know why we dance and dance In circles like we do You hate the risk, I want the chance To prove it all to you But in the end, it ends the same These things, they often do I try to play, I lose the game And now I'm losing you © Jarrett Douglass DeLude